Stop Bitching About Those Lady Chips

Some more advice from an adult woman dating a cardboard cutout of Knight Rider era David Hasselhoff

Don’t look at me like that, I can say that. I wouldn’t consider myself a feminist, but I do believe in the equality of all genders. I just don’t like labels.

Being mad at anyone for anything is a real boner-shriveler. Keep that in mind.

I never feel scrutinized because my diet of 7/11 hotdogs and chicharrones and the subsequent D.A.D.S. (Day After Drinking Shits), help me keep things tight.

Not that I know a lot about the gender wage gap, I make good tips at the roadhouse where I serve whiskey in Von Dutch tank tops, “Coyote Ugly” style.

Stay cool, you tampon-ad “Before” pictures.

the second mrs. de winter

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