Some Thoughts on “Guilty Pleasures” from a Female Serial Killer

Hey ladies!

Yogurt sold by John Stamos, books with bright pink covers, reality shows about bored rich women (who, surprisingly, are not also serial killers), french fries, glossy magazines with sex tips, doughnuts, television shows about horny teenagers played by adults, that one novel about a horny billionaire (who is also not a serial killer??), ice cream, 90s R&B…

Luring truckers to your murder cabin and murdering them, making trophies out of their beards and selling them on Etsy, sending taunting origami covered in nonsense Wingdings to the editors of The Desert Sun and the Idyllwild Town Crier, accidentally stepping on your pet’s paw, etc.

So eat that yoghurt! Read about the horny billionaire! Listen to that R&B! Tell your male family members to stay off Route 243!

the second mrs. de winter

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