Due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, We Will be Postponing this Year’s Danse Macabre
It is with a heavy heart that we here at TotenVoice must inform you that this year’s greatly anticipated Danse Macabre has been postponed indefinitely as we struggle to understand and combat the novel coronavirus. Please be assured that we share your disappointment and frustration. We, too, were looking forward to responding to the call of Lady Death’s lonely, piercing fiddle, arising from our graves and dancing in the town square to remind the villagers of the fragility of life and the looming threat of plague, famine and natural disaster, but this year it just sort of feels like rubbing salt in a wound.
“But we’re already dead,” you might cry in protest, “We don’t have to worry about the coronavirus! Why are you shutting down the festival and depriving all those vendors of business? Why are you infringing on my right to buy $14 margaritas and Danse Macabre 2020 souvenir scythes? This is communism!”
First of all, no it’s not. And second of all, yes, you might be dead but what about your living relatives? Your descendants and surviving spouses and children? They are still very much alive and susceptible to this virus and possibly exposing them just so that we can dance our unearthly waltz for the living is simply irresponsible.
We’re dead, after all, not dicks.
While we understand that this might seem like another casualty of Covid-19, we hope that you will appreciate that by simply not rising from our graves to enact a morbid and transfixing ritual that dates back to the furthest reaches of human memory, we are sparing our living neighbors from actual casualties.
As such, we will be offering refunds for those of you who do not wish to wait until a future date to cross the veil.
Luckily, in the midst of all this, our headliners have understood the need to comply with the village’s Stay-At-Home order and have graciously offered to suspend any future tours to resume their scheduled sets when we have a concrete date, including Corpse the Rapper, The Ruin Brothers and Bubonic THEE Plague.
All of us here at TotenVoice thank you for your patience in these uncertain times.
We will, as with everyone, see you eventually.