Due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, We Will be Postponing this Year’s Danse Macabre

Good Afternoon,

It is with a heavy heart that we here at TotenVoice must inform you that this year’s greatly anticipated Danse Macabre has been postponed indefinitely as we struggle to understand and combat the novel coronavirus. Please be assured that we share your disappointment and frustration. We, too, were looking forward to responding to the call of Lady Death’s lonely, piercing fiddle, arising from our graves and dancing in the town square to remind the villagers of the fragility of life and the looming threat of plague, famine and natural disaster, but this year it just sort of feels like rubbing salt in a wound.

“But we’re already dead,” you might cry in protest, “We don’t have to worry about the coronavirus! Why are you shutting down the festival and depriving all those vendors of business? Why are you infringing on my right to buy $14 margaritas and Danse Macabre 2020 souvenir scythes? This is communism!”

First of all, no it’s not. And second of all, yes, you might be dead but what about your living relatives? Your descendants and surviving…